Do you hate unit tests?

Perhaps you're overthinking.

We want our code to WORK.

We want it to KEEP WORKING.

And we want to develop FAST with CONFIDENCE.

It's as easy as 1-2-3.

Rule 1/ Make it FAIL before you make it pass.

To eliminate false positives.

Rule 2/ Test with FIXED INPUT.

Don't use named constants from the model code.

If you change the model code a test should complain.

Rule 3/ Don't touch the scary outside world.

Mock network calls, local files, your girlfriend, etc.

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Follow these rules and testing is trivial.